Well. Hi all! It's been a while, I know. I haven't written on any of my blogs. I do, however have a lot of time now. I was fired from my job. There were a lot of changes in the company, and I had a hard time keeping up w/ compliance. So I made some errors. Something I noticed, though, is that now I'm free to do other things that are important to me. What would you do if you could? What would your next moneymaker be? How would you separate it from your life outside of work? Would love to know. Speaking of jobs...Congrats Cora! On your new job! Enjoy the change! May the 4th Be with you.

Pride

The other day I had a realization. It wasn't anything new, per se, but it was quite shocking in a way. My brother came up in conversation between my parents and me--me wondering why he's cool with being arrogant and pompous, and 'why can't I be that way and not give a shit' type of story-- and my dad mentioned something about he's a Boeing engineer-he wants people to think he's right all the time. Something I noticed about my mom--when she heard my dad say this, she got this look of devotion and pride on her face. My mom's always strived for success. She instilled it in me. I'm not successful in how I want to be, and at this point, it's a choice I made. But I feel really hurt when I see my mom's face change so much when she hears my dad say what my brother's occupation is. It makes me sad.
Don't get me wrong. I love my brother so much. He's awesome! But he's still a pain sometimes. I'm not jealous. I think I'm just sad because I'm NOT where I want to be in life when it comes to my occupation, but there are other things I have done since then that are wonderful, and if I made different choices-even the choice of keeping my baby instead of releasing for adoption, I wouldn't have met the people I have, or had friendships that have endured.
So why does it hurt when I saw that look on my mom's face. I would love to have you shrink this for me.
Anyone? Bueller?

P.S. I know my entries are a long time coming, but thanks for reading.

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to all my followers! If you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a great day off! We didn't do our normal going to service this year, but we did have a great time in Portland caroling last night! I'll leave you with this little clip. This song is my favorite at Christmas. It's called "Joseph's Lullabye". It means a lot to me.

**Merry 1st Christmas to the Huffman 3!

Pictures

As most of you know, I have another blog about what I've been thinking and feeling regarding being a parent of a transgender person. I saw a quote on Facebook today that said, "When something bad happens you can let it define you, let it strengthen you, or let it destroy you."
I don't really consider what has transpired "bad" anymore. Many reasons are because I all of a sudden saw an emerging happy and more motivated person coming out as a male, even though we've always seen her as female---mind you, I never went girl shopping for Marley. I did girl shopping with my nieces. I didn't even know there was a store called "Pink" until my niece told me she wanted to go there....6 months ago. I thought that was a style that other people got somewhere. Seriously...no clue.
Why am I bringing this up? Cuz it's something to say, and because I don't really talk about it on here, it's just a way to show what's going on in my world.
Lately, I've been struggling with the fact that M doesn't want pics up in the living room that shows long hair. Even though it doesn't look male or female, he doesn't like it. But I LOVE THOSE PICS! They are from great times. It's hard to argue that stuff. I have what I want in my bedroom, but I still like to show off the great pic from Disneyland. Why? Because it was the first time I saw Marley start getting happy after a long bout of depression. It's a monumental moment, and I got it on camera!
M likes it too, but the idea of long hair for him is somehow quite hard. I try to reason the fact that he loves 90s music and look at all the rockers who had long hair. Whatevs. Right now, it's nice to see that's the only big battle around this. There will be others, but I hope they come quietly and sweetly. Gotta get back to work. :D

MacGuyver

Tonight I was putting up Christmas lights in my apartment window when I realized what a draft we had coming through there. I realized there was a spot at the top of the window that didn't close well. Just a little spot because the frame's probably a little warped, so it doesn't seal. Well, as I was on the phone with a friend, I was looking through some mail, and I had a throw pile, so I took one of the envelopes, folded it up as to make a wedge, and put it under the slider part of the window. Fred asked what I was doing, and he called me MacGuyver. I guess I am. But I've always done stuff like that. Sure, it may look tacky, but it saves me time and money. When I lived in the 'burbs, I started getting the notion that I had to buy things or have someone fix things for me. Moving back to the city put me back to my roots of just fixing the damn thing. Why wait for the maintenance guy to have to fix the window right away? DUH!
Jim and Cora, Chloe is darling! Everyone have a happy Christmas season!!

Hi! Still here!

Marley and I were discussing depression today. Because last month was National Suicide Awareness, and I didn't do any blogging about it, I wanted to share. We really delved into the subject...from M feeling like God wasn't there and hating God, to having to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. We talked about reasons why it happened, if any, and if it would happen again. Anyway, we found a blog about it. This really was how we both have felt before. Sad with some humor. But oh, so human!

Have a great day, and as the call box on the Golden Gate Bridge says....Life is beautiful!

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

WTF????? Yes, I actually am posting!!

Hi All! So, the long delay in posting has something to do with school, moving, and other family issues going on in the household. I actually am writing another blog about the other family issue called "Trans-Parent". I am the mother of a female-male transgender child. So, I felt it was something I needed to start writing about. You're welcome to check it out here on Blogger.

I tend to write more here about just the ups and downs of my life, as usual. It's more of what's going on with me, not what's going on with my daughter/son and our transition. Speaking of kids----SHOUT OUT TO JIM AND CORA! Happy Anniversary for 6 months of EXTREME joy and happiness!! It's a pleasure to see C growing up and happy!

So, in a nutshell-This is not a surprising or recent transition, but it is one that was speculated until it came to fruition a few months back (more like 5). However, having seen that her attitude change for the better, how can I deny that happiness? One day, I was thinking, as I was reading a blog from Jim and Cora about their daughter, that I would feel sadness that I was losing that, but I don't. I had my daughter at C's age, and I even see some pics that remind me of mine. I'm just so happy to not feel that I am comparing my kid anymore to others. There is no comparison. It's refreshing to see that I have a very unique child.