Thursday, March 25, 2010
Trying on jeans----------->
Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; Avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy is damnation.~~C.S. Lewis
This was quoted in a book I'm reading called "The Reason for God" by a pastor named Timothy Keller. He actually has a church he started in Manhattan that has become a pretty happenin' place!
Anyway, this is an issue that I've struggled with a lot. I remember telling my friend that I fall (in like, love) hard, but the funny thing is, is then I get really scared and take it all back or just harden my heart to relationships. I don't want to do that anymore. I met a guy I like. I don't know what he feels for me, but he's the kind of guy that I don't want to put a wall up with, and I found myself doing that the second (and last) time I saw him. My counselor told me that I should look at getting to know men as checking out if we fit. Like jeans, I guess. k. That's all. I'm tired. Need to be at work at 6:45 am and it's 10:15 pm. I've been running all week and can't wait for a day off.
Love to all!
Sunday, March 21, 2010
In God I Trust. I define success on my own terms. Happiness is not defined by how smoothly everything is going for me. I aim for big dreams & excellence. Never allow failure to defeat me. I do not allow fear to overpower my progression.<--------got this off a FB page-Thanks LaRayne!
I've been piddling around for a couple days. Finally at the end stages of some nasty bronchitis. Today has been a great day for contemplation, laughter, and just plain old good jibes with my daughter. OH! Also washing all the "sick" bedding. That's tedious when I have a little washer, but I was able to do 1 comforter and 1 pillow in a load, so that was 2 loads, not including the sheets, but that's for another day. My bronchitis was allergy related, and I really need to get rid of the down comforters and get regular poly ones, which I should have done years ago d/t having an asthmatic daughter, but whatever. I'm only thinking of MEMEME! so it will soon get done....maybe. Selfish, aren't I? Yes, I am one of the most selfish creatures I know. That's been part of my contemplating. I love my daughter. I would do anything for her, but at the same time, I always find things to do for me. I wonder how to not be that way. Or can I? I am REALLY thinking out loud right now, so if you feel lost, think of this as being in my head. Scary, huh? Sort of like a clip of "Being John Malkovich".
I really had another point, but instead, I'm going to go have my dinner now.
PS--Check out Jim's coloring books to fund his son's adoption at colormehome.blogspot.com Pass it on to your friends!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
So, I went to see my honey Rob Pattinson (not to be confused w/ Pat Robertson, Jim) on the big screen in "Remember Me." Not once, but twice, since I went the 2nd time w/ my daughter. If you haven't seen it and want to, don't read beyond this point.
It was a very emotional movie for me. The end was really hard, and I actually had nightmares after the second time, thanks to some old post-traumatic stress from 9/11.
I know, you wonder how someone on the west coast got PTSD from something that happened on the east coast. I'm still wondering that myself, but it happened.
I know I'm rambling, but I loved the movie. I loved the story, the music, the characters, everything. I'm not going to continue because you need to see it. But I leave you with this question. What one accomplishment do you want to do if you knew that you had limited time left on this earth? Would it be something materialistic, something for yourself, or something for others? My new fav quote was quoted in the movie from Ghandi "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it." So....what would you do?
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Okay, I say Rob loosely, because I just saw "Remember Me" last night, and I loved it and cried and blubbered, and realized why I like Robert Pattinson as an actor, because he's great, along with his beautiful and amazing co-stars, and Pierce Brosnan is still hot! There was a great Ghandi quote in there that should be lived by-
“Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it”But then that opened up another floodgate of emotions that I have been making a big deal out of. I went to a friend's house who introduced me to his brother, and I was really smitten. Yes, smitten is still en vogue. But, you know what??? I'm a dork! I DO NOT know how to act around men that I crush on or are attracted to. You're probably going "REALLY? Are you 36 or 16??" Really. The guy---I don't even know how to call him and say, "hey, do you wanna be FB friends?" so pathethic, I know. I get so FREAKING scared of rejection, that I don't even ask the right questions. Okay, so, advice????
BTW-My friend Jim is trying to raise money to adopt a kid that they love already. He and his wife create some cool coloring books, so check out www.colormehome.blogspot.com. They are going to be great parents!!
Sorry for not updating. Just been busy and in my own little world. No other excuses apply.
Love to all!