Monday, April 19, 2010

Springtime Blues

Can't shake this blueness that I'm feeling right now. I don't like that feeling at all, but of course, it's there. Yes, I'm one of the pharmaceutical fanclubs! I like my pills, and they usually work! I think right now, I just happen to be at a home that's not my own (we are housesitting for some friends) and I just want my own space right now.

I think sometimes I bite off more than I can chew. I don't feel overwhelmed, but I'm not feeling very rested right now, either. There are friends that I miss and haven't seen in a while, but at the same time, I just want to stay home instead of call on a friend.
I'm actually writing this post over a span of 2 days. I haven't had much inspiration, or at least I haven't been looking for it. But on this rainy RAINY Wednesday morning, I am determined to find the inspiration that will get me through today-whether it be a phone call, a project to finish, or even a line from a book. Oh, I found the line from the book, but I still have a project to finish.
My daughter and I are talking about stretching ourselves. She has a project and she wants to do a topic on her favorite subject: The X-Files. Her teacher says that she knows too much about the subject. What I'm trying to teach her is that her teachers want to stretch her. They want her to find things that she doesn't know about. This is so awesome that we're having these kinds of discussions. I want her to stretch herself, too. I hope that she HERSELF decides to challenge herself. HEY I think that's my inspiration today. Encouraging my daughter to stretch her limits and also be an example of that!

Thanks for listening!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Desperation and Inspiration

So, tonight I was cruising Facebook, when I came along an old HS crush that was someone else's friend. I would never friend him. I don't think we spoke 2 words to each other, but I had the most AMAZING crush on him. Abel is still F***HOT!! So, because I was sitting on my fat ass looking through FB, I started feeling sorry for myself that I wasn't F***hot. Thanks to some awesome friends, I felt better, but that niggling of not being thin enough or firm enough stays with me. I teach water aerobics, and if the students I had only knew how SO uncomfortable I am with myself, I don't know if they would want me teaching! I love it, though. I can't imagine anything better! It's where I can be a kid and give people what they really want. THAT'S what makes me feel good. I just wish I LOOKED like an aerobics instructor. I will start working on that.
ANYHOO! As I was feeling down and out, I found a magazine that had an article about a woman who had bi-polar disorder, which, I will admit, I have. She went to Johns Hopkins to get treatment, and she walked by a statue of Jesus w/ a passage that made me feel so good and I felt better. I will post it at the bottom.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you for taking the time to read and share.
Love, Gretchen

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

Sunday, April 4, 2010

To Terms

-------->cuz he's just too pretty to look at
Well well well.....Here I am!! I know, it's been a while.
I have had plenty to say, but sometimes getting it down is easier if I have a notebook with me and not a laptop. I'm not immersed enough into the wi-fi world to carry my laptop everywhere I go.
I really wanted to post something for my own thing to look back and be able to say "I said that!".
Just a very brief history, my darling daughter and I have been just us all her life. She doesn't have a very close relationship with her father, and he and I broke up right before she was born.
I've never had much good to say about his parenting skills, but today, we went to lunch with a single dad friend and his son, who happen to have similar circumstances as dd and her dad, and I realized something. My SD friend is a lot like my ex. They just don't really know what to do with the kids that they haven't known all their lives (both dads didn't have involvement in children's lives until the kids were older). I told dd later that after seeing sd friend, I finally felt less hostile toward ex because I saw someone else's perspective that I didn't have a personal involvement in. Make sense? Your thoughts.

Because I'm a bookworm, I'll recommend a book I haven't read, but dd, who doesn't cry much, read this at school and cried in front of people, so I'm thinking it's gotta be good. "The Last Song" by Nicholas Sparks. I must find out about him because he's got such a feminine side.


Love to all!