Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas to all my followers! If you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a great day off! We didn't do our normal going to service this year, but we did have a great time in Portland caroling last night! I'll leave you with this little clip. This song is my favorite at Christmas. It's called "Joseph's Lullabye". It means a lot to me.

**Merry 1st Christmas to the Huffman 3!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


As most of you know, I have another blog about what I've been thinking and feeling regarding being a parent of a transgender person. I saw a quote on Facebook today that said, "When something bad happens you can let it define you, let it strengthen you, or let it destroy you."
I don't really consider what has transpired "bad" anymore. Many reasons are because I all of a sudden saw an emerging happy and more motivated person coming out as a male, even though we've always seen her as female---mind you, I never went girl shopping for Marley. I did girl shopping with my nieces. I didn't even know there was a store called "Pink" until my niece told me she wanted to go there....6 months ago. I thought that was a style that other people got somewhere. clue.
Why am I bringing this up? Cuz it's something to say, and because I don't really talk about it on here, it's just a way to show what's going on in my world.
Lately, I've been struggling with the fact that M doesn't want pics up in the living room that shows long hair. Even though it doesn't look male or female, he doesn't like it. But I LOVE THOSE PICS! They are from great times. It's hard to argue that stuff. I have what I want in my bedroom, but I still like to show off the great pic from Disneyland. Why? Because it was the first time I saw Marley start getting happy after a long bout of depression. It's a monumental moment, and I got it on camera!
M likes it too, but the idea of long hair for him is somehow quite hard. I try to reason the fact that he loves 90s music and look at all the rockers who had long hair. Whatevs. Right now, it's nice to see that's the only big battle around this. There will be others, but I hope they come quietly and sweetly. Gotta get back to work. :D

Sunday, November 27, 2011


Tonight I was putting up Christmas lights in my apartment window when I realized what a draft we had coming through there. I realized there was a spot at the top of the window that didn't close well. Just a little spot because the frame's probably a little warped, so it doesn't seal. Well, as I was on the phone with a friend, I was looking through some mail, and I had a throw pile, so I took one of the envelopes, folded it up as to make a wedge, and put it under the slider part of the window. Fred asked what I was doing, and he called me MacGuyver. I guess I am. But I've always done stuff like that. Sure, it may look tacky, but it saves me time and money. When I lived in the 'burbs, I started getting the notion that I had to buy things or have someone fix things for me. Moving back to the city put me back to my roots of just fixing the damn thing. Why wait for the maintenance guy to have to fix the window right away? DUH!
Jim and Cora, Chloe is darling! Everyone have a happy Christmas season!!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hi! Still here!

Marley and I were discussing depression today. Because last month was National Suicide Awareness, and I didn't do any blogging about it, I wanted to share. We really delved into the subject...from M feeling like God wasn't there and hating God, to having to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. We talked about reasons why it happened, if any, and if it would happen again. Anyway, we found a blog about it. This really was how we both have felt before. Sad with some humor. But oh, so human!

Have a great day, and as the call box on the Golden Gate Bridge says....Life is beautiful!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

WTF????? Yes, I actually am posting!!

Hi All! So, the long delay in posting has something to do with school, moving, and other family issues going on in the household. I actually am writing another blog about the other family issue called "Trans-Parent". I am the mother of a female-male transgender child. So, I felt it was something I needed to start writing about. You're welcome to check it out here on Blogger.

I tend to write more here about just the ups and downs of my life, as usual. It's more of what's going on with me, not what's going on with my daughter/son and our transition. Speaking of kids----SHOUT OUT TO JIM AND CORA! Happy Anniversary for 6 months of EXTREME joy and happiness!! It's a pleasure to see C growing up and happy!

So, in a nutshell-This is not a surprising or recent transition, but it is one that was speculated until it came to fruition a few months back (more like 5). However, having seen that her attitude change for the better, how can I deny that happiness? One day, I was thinking, as I was reading a blog from Jim and Cora about their daughter, that I would feel sadness that I was losing that, but I don't. I had my daughter at C's age, and I even see some pics that remind me of mine. I'm just so happy to not feel that I am comparing my kid anymore to others. There is no comparison. It's refreshing to see that I have a very unique child.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Bitch....and a question....

Okay, I really hate using graphic words, especially in the title, but I was so humiliated today at work, that I actually had to leave my client and go in the back and cry. You see, when I'm pissed, I cry. I'm not the kind of person who, especially in a professional environment, can say something witty back to put the person in her place without getting down to the level of the bitch that humiliated/pissed me off.

This person I'm talking about is a very smart, witty person. Lately, she and I haven't been getting along very well, but I've tried really hard to the point of pasting on a smile and faking it. Trust me, it's hard for me to fake it because I just hate doing that. It goes against the grain for me. I think it's because my mother would talk behind people's backs and then pretend they were best friends. I love my mom very much, don't get me wrong, but this was one of her quirks that bugged me. Anyhoo, I was explaining to the donor in layman's terms about what platelets did. I told her it was a clotting factor in your blood. Now, in my head, a clotting factor is something that helps the blood clot. Platelets may not be considered a clotting factor in the terms of medicine, but a person who is giving platelets doesn't F**KING want to understand that it comes from the bone marrow and not the liver, etc. Saying that it's a clotting factor means to a donor that platelets help patients with cancer and trauma and surgery get their blood clotting when it needs to! Someone doesn't need to come out of their screening room, while doing stuff outside of work-related stuff, I might add, and tell me that it isn't a clotting factor, it helps in the clotting process, etc, in front of the donor. Even the donor was flabbergasted, not to mention the nurse, who happened to be satisfied and understand that I didn't have to be all medicalese-like to the layman that was on the damn donor bed!!
Unfortunately for me, I have an automatic response of turning the color of a fire engine. I cannot, for the life of me, hide that. I then proceeded to work on my donor, and then I felt the tears come. I asked the nurse to please put the bar codes on my platelet kit. Bless her heart, I didn't have to ask twice. She knew I needed a moment.
I guess I'm a person who, if I make a mistake such as one like this, I find the error of my ways and go and apologize without prompt. I really felt that this person, who is 31 years old, btw, would figure out that she crossed a line and come and apologize. Nope. I'm pissed. I'm pissed because I HAVE apologized to her for things like this. Because of that, you would think that she'd figure it out. Am I wrong? Am I asking too much to not have to bring it up? Should she be on a level of maturity to figure it out? Let me know. I really want to. If I don't like it, I promise I won't hold it against you like I'm doing to the subject I'm talking about right now.

Friday, March 11, 2011


There are 4 meanings on in reference to the word Providence:
1.(often initial capital letter ) the foreseeing care and guidance of god or nature over the creatures of the earth.
2.(initial capital letter ) God, especially when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence.
3. a manifestation of divine care or direction.
4. provident or prudent management of resources; prudence.
5. foresight; provident care.

Today I'm going with #3. This past few days I have been struggling with a direction I rarely take as a parent. KEEP.MY.MOUTH.SHUT!! For most of those who know me, you so agree with this and are laughing because I don't shut up!! You know the diet books we have and read and then follow them for a few days? That's what I do with wise parenting. I throw it out the window because I decide to take back the power. I can't do that anymore. My baby is going to be 18. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the control freak that I turned into. So, because of that, I depend on #3. Of course, the house rules are still in place. But the attitude of "I can do it all myself" needs to stop. I can't do it all myself. So as Proverbs 3:5 says: Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, well, I must.

My prayers go out to Japan today. May the people we know and love be alright.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


This will be short and sweet. I'm at work right now. It seems that I haven't felt like I've had a care in the world for a few months. However, some news that was delivered to me yesterday made me feel very small and out of control, oh, and of course, a failure as a mother, even though my parenting had nothing to do with it.

Have you ever noticed that when you feel all carefree, you should have the niggling caution in the back of your mind saying...."the other shoe will drop in 20 days!"

I know we have mountains and valleys in life, but I actually felt like a bucket of water was being poured on me. I hope the next chapter of my life will have me more aware of my surroundings and to just let things move. I'm working on it now. It's tough. Have I lost you? Well, gotta go back to work!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

My Mom

It's not her birthday, and it's not Mother's Day, but I need to make a post about my mom. She struggled in her life. There are times in my life that I can say I was full of resentment toward her. What daughter isn't? But mine lasted years. It's been in the last 10 years, that I can say I have seen the miracle of God work through my mom. My mom, who can pretty much only move her head due to the ravages of MS, also happens to be one of the most grateful people that I know. When she was walking, she was regretful, bitter, and resentful. Yet now, as she has lost almost all her motor skills, she has taken what she had physically and had it transformed in her soul.

I thank all the people who have come into her life who have shown her the Light of God that has helped her be at peace in a body that is anything but. She has so many! I am a daughter that only a mother could love compared to the outpouring of devotion that is given to my mom through other people. I appreciate and thank you all. Some of these people were inspirations to her because of their own illnesses, who have since passed away. You have all inspired me through the changes that I have seen in her.

She has changed other people with her love and words that have given people comfort in times of sorrow. Because of that, she gets cards and gifts frequently.

On this note, I think I'll go see Mom!!

P.S. I'm sure you'll hear this again on my post, as everyday I think how in awe of her I am.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Random #1
I like white wine. I love purple grape juice. I hate wine snobs. I like to go in and taste different wines because I like to taste the differences. I like to taste the hint of whatever was in the environment for that crop that year. I like to taste the added flavors. I like sweet wine. I can't stand dry reds. German Riesling is my favorite. Don't give me the stink eye when I only pick out white wine to taste at the cellar. You're no better than me in your jeans and t-shirt paying the 5 bucks to taste. You wanna look all cosmo, then go to the city wine bar.
Random #2
I am a beer snob. I don't like Budweiser, Coors, Vitamin R, or Michelob. I never liked the taste. I like full bodied, made at the restaurant beer. Or Guinness on tap or in the bottle. Never the can. I promise not to give you the stink eye when you order your Coors. Oh, I do love me some Blue Moon, though. With an orange slice. I'm still a girl.
Random #3
Watching people fight for their freedom this past week has made me weepy! It's beautiful to see! It's beautiful to see what our predecessors fought for. I think I'll write my senator today. To keep fighting.
Random #4
My heart goes out to the families of the hostages that were pirated on their yacht,and New Zealand. There is so much going on in the world lately.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Open Mouth, Insert Foot

Yesterday I had a tough day. I realized that I sometimes would do well in keeping my mouth shut, if you will. I like to be able to be an adult about things and I expect other adults to do the same. From now on, I am going to try really hard not to get involved in things that could affect my involvement in the future. It was something that wasn't important enough for people to get upset over. Now that I wrote it down, I feel better.

I know that I'm vague, but I try to be really careful about what I post on the World Wide Web.

Sunday, January 30, 2011


I always picture myself in situations of being alone. I'm going back for my nursing degree. I want to finally do my dream. You think that I'm rambling, but I'm not. I sometimes sit and wish I had a man to spend my life with, but I really never picture a permanent man in my life.
Which brings me back to nursing. I want to be able to move or travel as a nurse. A man would be a tough sell on doing that with me. You see, I'm kind of a gypsy. I've never really felt at home anywhere. I love the Pacific Northwest and probably won't leave it, but I love to have "gypsy feet". I've lived in this apartment for 7 years and I've hated it for 3. The only reason I've stayed here is for family reasons. Even though my darling daughter only has a year left of high school, we are moving 10 miles away when the school year is out. It's closer to my job and farther away from suburbia. That's all I want for now. Call me selfish. I guess I am.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Welcome Chloe!

You, little girl, are one of the most loved children on earth.
You were loved and fought for before your parents even knew you. Now that you are in their arms, you get to experience all the hard work that went into having you come home.
We got to see your adoption in steps that had us mad, sad, impatient, and, finally, full of so much joy!! Watching this moment is a miracle to all of us.
God has blessed the three of you with each other, and I know you will feel that love forever.

May God continue blessing your family and may you grow to be as beautiful, smart, and happy as you already seem to be!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Here's to Shirley!!

I'm sitting at Starbuck's typing this while I wait for an old acquaintance to come have Happy Hour with me in downtown Bellevue. I work here, but today I'm off, yet I'm not at home cuddled on the couch like I wish I was. Oh well. I need to stop sulking in my own world and hang out with people. Shirley was people. She passed away on New Year's after a 2 year battle with breast cancer, which she had been in remission for for 10 years before it was found again. Scary, huh? Yup.
Shirley was no-nonsense. She was really cool because she told you like it was without her voice ever being raised. I think she got a lot of respect that way. I have yet to tell you like it is without raising my voice, but there's hope, right??

All I must say is this:
Thank you, Shirley, for giving me words of wisdom that I still carry with me. I will always remember where they came from. I think I pick things up from people that I like to have, and your way of telling it like it is, is one of those.
Thanks for your giggle that you always had. It made me giggle just hearing it. Thank you for the times you went to lunch with me and let me think that our boss was wonderful. At the time, I didn't need to know what a bitch she was. I know that you were saving me from that. I had to find out for myself--which was the mommy in you. :D
Thank you for you. You have touched many lives. I'm sorry I didn't go to your service, but I'd rather you read this from your heavenly perch, and I hope when you do, I hear a giggle.

As I lift my plastic cup full of water, I salute you! You will always be in my heart!
FAREWELL until I see you in heaven!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Here, Here!!

I'm so happy this New Year! I went to church today and listened to a missionary family who lives in China! It made me decide to continue banning Wal-Mart, but I will go ahead and buy from China.:D

Anyway...I know, that was random, but it made me realize a few things....I so very happy and blessed! China has been on the forefront of my mind for a while now, thanks to Jim and Cora. Congrats to them, they will be going there in 10(?) days to bring home their daughter Chloe, who they have loved from afar for so long!

Also, I've been thinking about going back to school and getting my nursing degree again. It's been something that I don't WANT to do, but I really don't plan on retiring with a phlebotomy skill only. The beauty of nursing is I can do mission trips once in a while w/ my profession, which is something I've always wanted to do.

So, here's to 2011...a time for hope and happiness, starting a new family, and preparing for changes in an established one!