Okay, I really hate using graphic words, especially in the title, but I was so humiliated today at work, that I actually had to leave my client and go in the back and cry. You see, when I'm pissed, I cry. I'm not the kind of person who, especially in a professional environment, can say something witty back to put the person in her place without getting down to the level of the bitch that humiliated/pissed me off.
This person I'm talking about is a very smart, witty person. Lately, she and I haven't been getting along very well, but I've tried really hard to the point of pasting on a smile and faking it. Trust me, it's hard for me to fake it because I just hate doing that. It goes against the grain for me. I think it's because my mother would talk behind people's backs and then pretend they were best friends. I love my mom very much, don't get me wrong, but this was one of her quirks that bugged me. Anyhoo, I was explaining to the donor in layman's terms about what platelets did. I told her it was a clotting factor in your blood. Now, in my head, a clotting factor is something that helps the blood clot. Platelets may not be considered a clotting factor in the terms of medicine, but a person who is giving platelets doesn't F**KING want to understand that it comes from the bone marrow and not the liver, etc. Saying that it's a clotting factor means to a donor that platelets help patients with cancer and trauma and surgery get their blood clotting when it needs to! Someone doesn't need to come out of their screening room, while doing stuff outside of work-related stuff, I might add, and tell me that it isn't a clotting factor, it helps in the clotting process, etc, in front of the donor. Even the donor was flabbergasted, not to mention the nurse, who happened to be satisfied and understand that I didn't have to be all medicalese-like to the layman that was on the damn donor bed!!
Unfortunately for me, I have an automatic response of turning the color of a fire engine. I cannot, for the life of me, hide that. I then proceeded to work on my donor, and then I felt the tears come. I asked the nurse to please put the bar codes on my platelet kit. Bless her heart, I didn't have to ask twice. She knew I needed a moment.
I guess I'm a person who, if I make a mistake such as one like this, I find the error of my ways and go and apologize without prompt. I really felt that this person, who is 31 years old, btw, would figure out that she crossed a line and come and apologize. Nope. I'm pissed. I'm pissed because I HAVE apologized to her for things like this. Because of that, you would think that she'd figure it out. Am I wrong? Am I asking too much to not have to bring it up? Should she be on a level of maturity to figure it out? Let me know. I really want to. If I don't like it, I promise I won't hold it against you like I'm doing to the subject I'm talking about right now.
TTFN!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Providence
There are 4 meanings on dictionary.com in reference to the word Providence:
1.(often initial capital letter ) the foreseeing care and guidance of god or nature over the creatures of the earth.
2.(initial capital letter ) God, especially when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence.
3. a manifestation of divine care or direction.
4. provident or prudent management of resources; prudence.
5. foresight; provident care.
Today I'm going with #3. This past few days I have been struggling with a direction I rarely take as a parent. KEEP.MY.MOUTH.SHUT!! For most of those who know me, you so agree with this and are laughing because I don't shut up!! You know the diet books we have and read and then follow them for a few days? That's what I do with wise parenting. I throw it out the window because I decide to take back the power. I can't do that anymore. My baby is going to be 18. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the control freak that I turned into. So, because of that, I depend on #3. Of course, the house rules are still in place. But the attitude of "I can do it all myself" needs to stop. I can't do it all myself. So as Proverbs 3:5 says: Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, well, I must.
My prayers go out to Japan today. May the people we know and love be alright.
1.(often initial capital letter ) the foreseeing care and guidance of god or nature over the creatures of the earth.
2.(initial capital letter ) God, especially when conceived as omnisciently directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence.
3. a manifestation of divine care or direction.
4. provident or prudent management of resources; prudence.
5. foresight; provident care.
Today I'm going with #3. This past few days I have been struggling with a direction I rarely take as a parent. KEEP.MY.MOUTH.SHUT!! For most of those who know me, you so agree with this and are laughing because I don't shut up!! You know the diet books we have and read and then follow them for a few days? That's what I do with wise parenting. I throw it out the window because I decide to take back the power. I can't do that anymore. My baby is going to be 18. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the control freak that I turned into. So, because of that, I depend on #3. Of course, the house rules are still in place. But the attitude of "I can do it all myself" needs to stop. I can't do it all myself. So as Proverbs 3:5 says: Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, well, I must.
My prayers go out to Japan today. May the people we know and love be alright.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
FLOOD
This will be short and sweet. I'm at work right now. It seems that I haven't felt like I've had a care in the world for a few months. However, some news that was delivered to me yesterday made me feel very small and out of control, oh, and of course, a failure as a mother, even though my parenting had nothing to do with it.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel all carefree, you should have the niggling caution in the back of your mind saying...."the other shoe will drop in 20 days!"
I know we have mountains and valleys in life, but I actually felt like a bucket of water was being poured on me. I hope the next chapter of my life will have me more aware of my surroundings and to just let things move. I'm working on it now. It's tough. Have I lost you? Well, gotta go back to work!
Have you ever noticed that when you feel all carefree, you should have the niggling caution in the back of your mind saying...."the other shoe will drop in 20 days!"
I know we have mountains and valleys in life, but I actually felt like a bucket of water was being poured on me. I hope the next chapter of my life will have me more aware of my surroundings and to just let things move. I'm working on it now. It's tough. Have I lost you? Well, gotta go back to work!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
My Mom
It's not her birthday, and it's not Mother's Day, but I need to make a post about my mom. She struggled in her life. There are times in my life that I can say I was full of resentment toward her. What daughter isn't? But mine lasted years. It's been in the last 10 years, that I can say I have seen the miracle of God work through my mom. My mom, who can pretty much only move her head due to the ravages of MS, also happens to be one of the most grateful people that I know. When she was walking, she was regretful, bitter, and resentful. Yet now, as she has lost almost all her motor skills, she has taken what she had physically and had it transformed in her soul.
I thank all the people who have come into her life who have shown her the Light of God that has helped her be at peace in a body that is anything but. She has so many! I am a daughter that only a mother could love compared to the outpouring of devotion that is given to my mom through other people. I appreciate and thank you all. Some of these people were inspirations to her because of their own illnesses, who have since passed away. You have all inspired me through the changes that I have seen in her.
She has changed other people with her love and words that have given people comfort in times of sorrow. Because of that, she gets cards and gifts frequently.
On this note, I think I'll go see Mom!!
P.S. I'm sure you'll hear this again on my post, as everyday I think how in awe of her I am.
I thank all the people who have come into her life who have shown her the Light of God that has helped her be at peace in a body that is anything but. She has so many! I am a daughter that only a mother could love compared to the outpouring of devotion that is given to my mom through other people. I appreciate and thank you all. Some of these people were inspirations to her because of their own illnesses, who have since passed away. You have all inspired me through the changes that I have seen in her.
She has changed other people with her love and words that have given people comfort in times of sorrow. Because of that, she gets cards and gifts frequently.
On this note, I think I'll go see Mom!!
P.S. I'm sure you'll hear this again on my post, as everyday I think how in awe of her I am.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Random
Random #1
I like white wine. I love purple grape juice. I hate wine snobs. I like to go in and taste different wines because I like to taste the differences. I like to taste the hint of whatever was in the environment for that crop that year. I like to taste the added flavors. I like sweet wine. I can't stand dry reds. German Riesling is my favorite. Don't give me the stink eye when I only pick out white wine to taste at the cellar. You're no better than me in your jeans and t-shirt paying the 5 bucks to taste. You wanna look all cosmo, then go to the city wine bar.
Random #2
I am a beer snob. I don't like Budweiser, Coors, Vitamin R, or Michelob. I never liked the taste. I like full bodied, made at the restaurant beer. Or Guinness on tap or in the bottle. Never the can. I promise not to give you the stink eye when you order your Coors. Oh, I do love me some Blue Moon, though. With an orange slice. I'm still a girl.
Random #3
Watching people fight for their freedom this past week has made me weepy! It's beautiful to see! It's beautiful to see what our predecessors fought for. I think I'll write my senator today. To keep fighting.
Random #4
My heart goes out to the families of the hostages that were pirated on their yacht,and New Zealand. There is so much going on in the world lately.
I like white wine. I love purple grape juice. I hate wine snobs. I like to go in and taste different wines because I like to taste the differences. I like to taste the hint of whatever was in the environment for that crop that year. I like to taste the added flavors. I like sweet wine. I can't stand dry reds. German Riesling is my favorite. Don't give me the stink eye when I only pick out white wine to taste at the cellar. You're no better than me in your jeans and t-shirt paying the 5 bucks to taste. You wanna look all cosmo, then go to the city wine bar.
Random #2
I am a beer snob. I don't like Budweiser, Coors, Vitamin R, or Michelob. I never liked the taste. I like full bodied, made at the restaurant beer. Or Guinness on tap or in the bottle. Never the can. I promise not to give you the stink eye when you order your Coors. Oh, I do love me some Blue Moon, though. With an orange slice. I'm still a girl.
Random #3
Watching people fight for their freedom this past week has made me weepy! It's beautiful to see! It's beautiful to see what our predecessors fought for. I think I'll write my senator today. To keep fighting.
Random #4
My heart goes out to the families of the hostages that were pirated on their yacht,and New Zealand. There is so much going on in the world lately.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Open Mouth, Insert Foot
Yesterday I had a tough day. I realized that I sometimes would do well in keeping my mouth shut, if you will. I like to be able to be an adult about things and I expect other adults to do the same. From now on, I am going to try really hard not to get involved in things that could affect my involvement in the future. It was something that wasn't important enough for people to get upset over. Now that I wrote it down, I feel better.
I know that I'm vague, but I try to be really careful about what I post on the World Wide Web.
I know that I'm vague, but I try to be really careful about what I post on the World Wide Web.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Alone
I always picture myself in situations of being alone. I'm going back for my nursing degree. I want to finally do my dream. You think that I'm rambling, but I'm not. I sometimes sit and wish I had a man to spend my life with, but I really never picture a permanent man in my life.
Which brings me back to nursing. I want to be able to move or travel as a nurse. A man would be a tough sell on doing that with me. You see, I'm kind of a gypsy. I've never really felt at home anywhere. I love the Pacific Northwest and probably won't leave it, but I love to have "gypsy feet". I've lived in this apartment for 7 years and I've hated it for 3. The only reason I've stayed here is for family reasons. Even though my darling daughter only has a year left of high school, we are moving 10 miles away when the school year is out. It's closer to my job and farther away from suburbia. That's all I want for now. Call me selfish. I guess I am.
Which brings me back to nursing. I want to be able to move or travel as a nurse. A man would be a tough sell on doing that with me. You see, I'm kind of a gypsy. I've never really felt at home anywhere. I love the Pacific Northwest and probably won't leave it, but I love to have "gypsy feet". I've lived in this apartment for 7 years and I've hated it for 3. The only reason I've stayed here is for family reasons. Even though my darling daughter only has a year left of high school, we are moving 10 miles away when the school year is out. It's closer to my job and farther away from suburbia. That's all I want for now. Call me selfish. I guess I am.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)