Monday, December 27, 2010

If you can't stand for something.....

My daughter and I did our traditional Christmas trek to the movies the other day, and a preview of one of the movies had an actor singing the old song "If you can't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Well, it's not a song, but you get it.
It got me thinking. Yes, right in the middle of the theater, that I don't think I stand up to anything that well. You see, I get really wishy-washy sometimes. I think it's because I would worry how I was labeled. There are things I don't like. I don't like the idea of people hating people that are different, or homophobia, or people who think that all Christians are right-winged conservatives or that all people who wear turbanes are going to blow up a plane (which, BTW, a lot of people who wear turbanes are Seik, not Muslim, at least in my world, so a little education goes a long way). However, I can understand why people freak out about all those things. And that is where I have to walk the line.
My daughter called me a homophobe one day (or implied it) because I told her that I didn't accept homosexuality. Actually, it was more that I said that I feel there are things in our lives that are developmental issues more than genetic tendencies. It didn't mean that if someone was, I was going to convert them or condemn them. I will never try to sway someone another way. It's impossible for me to think that, but I still have my thoughts. I still have my opinions. I'm sitting here trying to figure out why I'm even bringing this up. I guess it's because I feel I don't have a steady and concrete foundation in what I accept or don't accept. I have a friend who has really screwed up in her life. She has done things (and still does) I don't agree with. Can I accept what she does? No. Can I accept her? Yes. Because she's my friend. Does she know how I feel? AB.SO.LUTE.LY!!
However, I sometimes feel that my boundaries, when accepting the friendship, can be shaky. In my head, I'm letting her know it's alright. But I think that's almost the mind of a child. As an adult, I don't have my parents telling me to not hang out with that kid because she's bad news. But I DO have my boundaries by saying that she's my friend, yet I don't condone what she does in her life. She knows how I feel. She expects a little nudge when she sees me. She also knows what she's doing. So. I guess because of that, and because I do value my friendship with her, I do know my boundaries. I just have to show people where I stand with them. Now if I could JUST convince my daughter..... :D

Congrats go out to Jim and Cora on a step closer to having their girl home! Contractions are getting closer together!!

1 comment:

  1. Boundaries? There are boundaries? I thought those were things meant to be crossed at every opportunity. Huh.

    Yes, Chloe is coming home. We should be leaving in mid-january. We may not be able to go to the Great Wall as we'd hoped.

    We will probably have a welcome home get-together sometime this spring or early-summer so everyone can come out and meet our little girl after she's had some time to acclimate.

    Have a happy and safe New Year!